1
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,830
I hope the
supermarket isn't closed.
2
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,032
I sent your father for
two more ingredients...
3
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,769
so I could finish
this before dinner.
4
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:44,835
Boy, Mom, you sure
have a lot of recipes here.
5
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,907
Caesar salad...
6
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:52,111
beef stroganoff, Napoleon
brandy, bloody mary.
7
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,582
Yes, Eddie.
8
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:58,615
And at one time or another,
they were all friends of the family.
9
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:04,790
Now this recipe was invented by
one of Grandpa's favorite people.
10
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,228
No foolin'?
11
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,395
What's Mom making, Grandpa?
12
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,432
Devil's food cake.
13
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,345
I wish Herman would get back.
14
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,715
But it's such a lovely day
and he insisted on walking.
15
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,563
Come on, let's have
a little action here.
16
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,391
Now look what I've done.
17
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:21,202
Dear! I've
disfigured him for life.
18
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,373
You poor man. I'll
go get an ambulance.
19
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:40,821
Madam?
20
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,520
Madam.
21
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,793
I am terribly sorry about...
22
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:47,760
Madam?
23
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,063
Madam?
24
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,901
I'll bet she went
for the police.
25
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:57,967
Before I get in
any more trouble...
26
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,223
I better go right home and
phone my insurance company...
27
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,772
like a good citizen.
28
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,922
Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.
29
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:15,721
You're the cause of all
this, you dumb old signpost.
30
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,998
Herman, you've
hardly eaten a thing.
31
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,307
I'm still worried
about that accident.
32
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,815
I think you should have let me
report it to our insurance company.
33
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,579
Do you really think it was
your fault, Uncle Herman?
34
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,142
Sure it was my fault.
35
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,955
Technically, I was walking
across the street against the light...
36
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:53,384
I should have looked both ways
before stepping off the curb...
37
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:57,625
I shouldn't have stopped in the middle
of the street, and I ruined the lady's car.
38
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,633
Technically, I'm guilty
on four different counts.
39
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,159
Cheer up, Pop. Mom made
some neat devil's food cake.
40
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:09,940
Yes. And, Grandpa, you cut it
first so we can see how it turned out.
41
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,390
Herman Munster,
1313 Mockingbird Lane.
42
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,305
You say you found this at
the scene of the accident?
43
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,929
That's right, Wilbur. It
was lying in the street.
44
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,063
But the man I hit
had disappeared.
45
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,937
He must have gone
berserk or something...
46
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,876
because the traffic lights had
been ripped right out of the ground.
47
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,006
Marge, we don't know what kind
of a screwball we're dealing with.
48
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,540
A hothead like this could turn around
and sue us for everything we've got.
49
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:54,110
Claim mental damage
on top of everything else.
50
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:58,147
I'm afraid you're right, Wilbur. A
court would probably award him...
51
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:01,195
$20,000 on just what
I did to his face alone.
52
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,559
Calm down, dear.
53
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,623
I'll have our lawyer, Ted Thatcher,
head this Munster off. Offer him...
54
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,464
$10,000 to keep him
from going to court.
55
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,060
I just hope he goes for it.
56
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:14,130
Listen, Marge, he can't be any more
of a stubborn weirdo than your mother.
57
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,208
We got her to move
to Alaska for $8,000.
58
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,214
11:00 a.m. Mail's here.
59
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:27,345
Just don't announce the mail,
stupid. What did you do with it?
60
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:34,419
Silly bird. When is he going to
stop picking that mailman's bag?
61
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,087
Nevermore.
62
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,239
"Mr. Herman Munster.
63
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,407
"Dear sir, as attorney
for Mrs. Wilbur Kingsley...
64
00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:00,818
"I am writing on her behalf
regarding the recent traffic accident...
65
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,118
"in which you and
she were involved.
66
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,553
"To prevent serious court
action and damages...
67
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,994
"I strongly urge immediate
cash settlement in the amount of...
68
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,865
"In the amount of $10,000."
69
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,569
How much? Wow! $10,000.
70
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,940
Oh, no, Lily. That woman must
have traced the accident to me...
71
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:34,147
and now her lawyer wants me to
pay her $10,000. What will I do?
72
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,118
Herman, stop that.
73
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:43,686
How do expect me to think
when you're making all that noise?
74
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:47,666
Where will I get
$10,000? This is terrible!
75
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,929
If I had a gun,
I'd shoot myself.
76
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,719
Wilbur, I'm really
getting worried.
77
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,353
Our lawyer offered
those Munsters...
78
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,955
a $10,000 settlement
three days ago.
79
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,897
They haven't even
answered his letter.
80
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,095
I know, dear. I talked
to Thatcher this morning.
81
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,281
He's going to make a
personal visit to these people...
82
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,773
and try and size
up the situation.
83
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,138
Do you think he'll get anywhere?
84
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,235
Listen, Thatcher settled
longshoremen's strikes, dispossessed...
85
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:34,543
widows and orphans, and appeared
before Senate investigating committees.
86
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,446
After frightening
experiences like that...
87
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,078
he's not going to be bothered by a
plain, average family like the Munsters.
88
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,224
That's a good boy, Eddie.
89
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,825
You polish Spotty's scales so
you can see your face in them.
90
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,060
Okay, Mom.
91
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,556
Spot likes that.
Don't you, Spot?
92
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:02,339
Mom, today is Saturday.
93
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,737
How come Pop had
to go to work today?
94
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:08,571
Mr. Gateman is thinking of
adding a new wing on to the parlor...
95
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,514
to take care of the overflow.
96
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:14,281
And your father went over to talk
to the builder to get an estimate.
97
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:18,719
That is one business where you
cannot keep your customers waiting.
98
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:27,398
I think there's someone at the door.
Eddie, would you answer it, please?
99
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,360
Okay, Mom.
100
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:43,373
Yes? Hello, little boy. I think.
101
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,742
I am Theodore
Thatcher, an attorney.
102
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,720
I am investigating
an accident case...
103
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,052
involving a Mr. Herman Munster.
104
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,525
Yes. He's my pop. Won't
you come in? Thank you.
105
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,824
You dressed up for a
school play or something?
106
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,199
Heck, no. This
is my regular suit.
107
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,194
It's the only one I've got.
108
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,406
Come right this way. Thank you.
109
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,079
Sit right here. Thank you.
110
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,959
Sorry, that
happens all the time.
111
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,456
Mom.
112
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:50,176
Mr. Thatcher? I'm Lily Munster.
113
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,252
Pardon my appearance,
but I've been fixing supper.
114
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,845
That's quite all right.
115
00:10:55,922 --> 00:11:00,121
We're having a curried lizard casserole,
and you know what a mess that can be.
116
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,424
You are forced to eat lizard?
117
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,231
It was either that or
pickled frogs' ears...
118
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,529
and my husband
insisted on lizard.
119
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,361
Sit down, won't you? Thank you.
120
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:17,807
My son said that you're
investigating Mr. Munster's accident.
121
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,709
This is just an informal visit.
122
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:23,580
Is your husband at home? I've been looking
forward to meeting him face to face.
123
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:28,088
I'm terribly sorry, but he is down
at the mortuary getting an estimate.
124
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:33,460
Getting an estimate
at the mortuary? Yes.
125
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:37,830
It's always wise to be
prepared for any eventuality.
126
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,763
I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't
know you had company.
127
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:49,135
This gentleman is
investigating Herman's accident.
128
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,542
Mr. Thatcher, my father.
129
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,072
How do you do?
By the way, sir...
130
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,640
did you and your son-in-law
discuss the letter I sent him last week?
131
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,185
We certainly did.
132
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:03,314
And what was his reaction to
our settlement figure of $10,000?
133
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,153
Not a chance, buster.
134
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:10,359
He's right, sir. An amount like
that is absolutely out of the question.
135
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:14,130
If you'll excuse me now, I'm on
my way down to the basement.
136
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,435
Grandpa, what do
you have in the bag?
137
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:20,029
Just some moldy bread
I got out of the kitchen.
138
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:23,406
I'm going down to the lab and
whip up a batch of penicillin.
139
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,707
He makes his own penicillin?
140
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,210
Yes. You never know,
in a family like this...
141
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:34,550
when somebody is liable to
come down with a sore throat.
142
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:39,653
Mrs. Munster, I think I've
found out all I need to know.
143
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:43,822
By the way, before I go, could I
use your telephone to call my client?
144
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,661
Why, of course. It's
right out here in the hall.
145
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:47,928
Thank you.
146
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,503
There you are.
147
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,146
And would you mind
letting yourself out?
148
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,776
I really must get back
to my lizard casserole.
149
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,767
Hello, Wilbur? This is Ted.
150
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:27,270
This house looks like Tobacco
Road. You should see this family.
151
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,135
The kid only has
one suit to his name.
152
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,872
And all they can
afford to eat is lizard.
153
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,014
The grandfather
makes his own penicillin.
154
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,117
Look, if this bunch
ever shows up in court...
155
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:42,349
they'll break a jury's
heart for at least $100,000.
156
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:46,826
Now, I think we ought to double
our original settlement offer.
157
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:52,525
This Munster character must be
hurt much worse than we thought...
158
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:56,057
because he's down at the
mortuary now, getting an estimate.
159
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,099
He's so sure
he's going to die...
160
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,971
he has his coffin
set up in the hallway.
161
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:06,737
What? Sure, I'm sure. Where
do you think I'm telephoning from?
162
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,546
Wait a minute. What is this?
163
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:23,393
There you are, Marilyn. I was catching
a little bat nap down in the lab...
164
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,092
and I must have
slept for three hours.
165
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,366
Where is everybody?
166
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:31,529
Grandpa, that telegram
came from the lawyer...
167
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,300
and Aunt Lily was so upset...
168
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,604
that she stormed right out.
169
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:39,237
Telegram? "Please
ignore previous letter.
170
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,978
"In behalf of my client,
recent accident case...
171
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:47,077
"now raising settlement
figure to $20,000!"
172
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,182
$20,000? Why, 10 was bad enough.
173
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:54,125
I know. And Aunt Lily said we
couldn't possibly raise that much.
174
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,823
She went over to see the
lady that hit Uncle Herman...
175
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,330
and throw herself on her mercy.
176
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,957
She's been gone over an hour.
177
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:04,367
Oh, boy. And where is
the poor innocent victim?
178
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,702
Uncle Herman came
home a few minutes ago.
179
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,503
He took one look
at that telegram...
180
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,736
the green completely
drained out of his face...
181
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:13,541
he ran up to his room
and hid in the closet.
182
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,382
Problems, problems, problems.
183
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:21,146
Sometimes I wish I was
back in the old country...
184
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:25,157
where my biggest worry was who to put
the bite on for three square meals a day.
185
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,855
Mrs. Munster, I'm so
glad you came to see me.
186
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,196
It's obvious, it's been a
terrible misunderstanding.
187
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:37,003
Misunderstanding? Why, yes.
188
00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:41,165
We were offering to pay you a
settlement, not the other way around.
189
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,135
Pay us? Yes, of course.
190
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,381
When I realized I'd
injured the poor man...
191
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,282
we were afraid he'd sue
us for everything we own.
192
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:56,552
Mrs. Kingsley, you have
no idea what a relief this is.
193
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:01,218
You pay us? Then you'll
accept a settlement?
194
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,962
I certainly will.
195
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:10,527
Would $1.75 to get my husband's
suit cleaned be asking too much?
196
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,329
Not at all.
197
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,876
There you are.
198
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:23,976
Herman. It's me. I
have good news for you.
199
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,811
Grandpa, it's locked. Do
you suppose he's in there?
200
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,754
Lily, allow me.
201
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,425
Grandpa, he's gone. What?
202
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,095
Look.
203
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,705
I think he's run away. Run away?
204
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,006
Look, there's a note. A note?
205
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,679
What's it say?
206
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:59,376
"Goodbye forever, I can
never raise $20,000...
207
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:04,413
"so I am doing the noble thing by
running away like a rotten coward.
208
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:10,589
"P.S. If someday my miserable bones
are washed up on a desert island...
209
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:15,898
"do not bother to claim them as they
will not be worth the parcel post charges."
210
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,329
Signed, "Herman
Munster, Rat Fink."
211
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,767
Grandpa, he's run away.
And it's all a mistake.
212
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,203
Where, oh, where
could my poopsie be?
213
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:53,462
Hi.
214
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,136
New man? Yes, sir.
215
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,477
You look rugged enough.
216
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,704
Can you lift one of those steel
ingots there? They weigh 300 pounds.
217
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,545
I can lift them all.
218
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,592
That's amazing. Okay,
you can put them down now.
219
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,599
Get out of here. Now, beat
it. Go on, get out of here.
220
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,671
But, sir... Get lost.
221
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,240
Go on, get out of here. But...
222
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:47,883
Everybody plays. It's over
here, folks. Try your luck.
223
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,055
Hit the clown.
Three balls. 25 cents.
224
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,100
Everybody plays. It's
right over here, folks.
225
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,192
Now you can't do anything...
226
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,797
Step up and try your luck.
227
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,702
Hit the clown, you win a prize.
228
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,798
I see you got
yourself a new clown?
229
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,641
Yeah. This one's the
wildest looking yet.
230
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:10,916
When he walked in here wearing that
crazy makeup I hired him on the spot.
231
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,082
Give it to him good.
232
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,985
Grandpa, we've got
to locate Herman.
233
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,325
What's wrong with
that crystal ball anyway?
234
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,161
I don't know. All I
keep picking up...
235
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:02,827
are the reruns of Molly
Goldberg from Tel Aviv.
236
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,162
Adjust the fine-tuning
or something.
237
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:12,803
Look, it's Herman.
Look. There he is.
238
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:17,541
Look, Grandpa. He's gone
and joined the Foreign Legion.
239
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:19,949
Wait, don't worry. We'll
track Herman down...
240
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:23,456
with my super-heterodyne,
transistorized divining rod.
241
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:27,488
Grandpa, Herman could
be anywhere in this world.
242
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,520
Lily, please. Wait till I
adjust the direction finder.
243
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,426
There.
244
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:38,300
Did you set it at Foreign
Legion? No, I set it for knothead.
245
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,738
That should lead us to my stupid
son-in-law like a guided missile.
246
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,302
Marilyn, Mom and Grandpa
have been gone for two days now...
247
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:48,006
trying to track down Pop.
248
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,946
They haven't
brought him home yet.
249
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,543
Now, don't you worry, Eddie.
I'm sure that wherever he is...
250
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:56,214
he's just as safe and sound
as if he were in his own home.
251
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:58,953
Halt!
252
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,791
Left face.
253
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:03,552
Forward march.
254
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:05,924
Halt!
255
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,999
About face.
256
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,170
Parade rest.
257
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:23,539
"As a traitor to the French Foreign
Legion for dereliction of duty...
258
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:28,277
"and cowardice under fire, the
prisoner is hereby sentenced to death...
259
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:32,254
"before a firing squad of
his former comrades in arms."
260
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,664
A last cigarette, monsieur?
261
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,200
Yes, actually, I
would. Thank you.
262
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,007
If you have one with a
charcoal micronite filter.
263
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:03,415
♪♪
264
00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:07,786
Detail. Attention!
265
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:11,094
Hup, two. Hup, two.
266
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,064
Hup, two. Hup, two.
267
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:14,727
Ready.
268
00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:17,861
Aim.
269
00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:22,574
Stop!
270
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:24,908
Stop, I say.
271
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:29,806
"'Shoot, if you must,
this square, green head
272
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:32,716
"'but you'll have to
kill me first, ' she said."
273
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:37,785
Landlubbers, down with those
pawn shop, second-hand...
274
00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:41,125
Cut! Cut!
275
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:44,327
Lady, how did you get in here?
276
00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:48,026
And who's the moth-eaten, old
corpse in the white tie and tails?
277
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:51,997
That moth-eaten, old corpse
happens to be my father.
278
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:57,205
And this noble soldier
of France is my husband.
279
00:22:57,276 --> 00:23:00,838
This noble soldier of France also
happens to be out of the picture.
280
00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:06,610
I haven't had this much trouble
since I worked with Liz and Dick.
281
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:12,113
Okay, Beau Geste, we're
going to take you home now.
282
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:16,822
Yes, Herman. I found out that
no one is suing you for $20,000.
283
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:19,732
Your terrible ordeal is over.
284
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,801
Come on, Herman. What
are you standing there for?
285
00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:25,030
Just a minute, dear...
286
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,335
there are a few good
drags left in this cigarette.
287
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,310
Come on, Herman.
288
00:23:40,552 --> 00:23:44,455
So, you see, Herman, when
that woman hit you with her car...
289
00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:47,015
she thought she disfigured you.
290
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,583
Well, I just don't
understand it.
291
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:51,358
It was the same handsome
face I've had all my life.
292
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:56,694
It's like I always say, you should
never leave the house without shaving.
293
00:23:57,369 --> 00:24:00,771
Pop, after you ran away,
how many jobs did you have...
294
00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,502
before you got that part
acting in that desert picture?
295
00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:05,976
Let's see, there was one
I had in the steel mill...
296
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:07,877
and then there was the circus...
297
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:11,509
and, oh, yeah, then I had one as a
night watchman in the county morgue.
298
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,950
Did you run into anyone we know?
299
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,813
No, in fact, the job
didn't work out well at all.
300
00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:21,793
Every time I'd take a short nap,
someone would put me in the icebox.
301
00:24:22,528 --> 00:24:24,997
Uncle Herman, the main
thing is that you're home now...
302
00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:27,499
and we don't want you
to ever run away again.
303
00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:30,126
And, poopsie, poopsie...
304
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:32,671
to remind you of
your little adventure...
305
00:24:32,738 --> 00:24:35,139
and to promote family harmony...
306
00:24:35,374 --> 00:24:37,639
look what I got for you.
307
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:45,150
I'll be darned.
308
00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:49,483
Thank you very much, dear.
309
00:24:50,122 --> 00:24:52,489
But how is this going to
promote family harmony?
310
00:24:52,558 --> 00:24:55,619
Well, dear, we're going to
put it in the upstairs hallway.
311
00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:59,927
For a house with only one
bathroom, it's practically a necessity.